golden globes

i'm watching the golden globes with my girlfriend. its something i usually would do with my mom and sister growing up, but now i'm subjecting her to it. she doesn't seem to mind when there's a musical award.
i can't believe christopher nolan lost best screenplay to aaron sorkin.

i'm nervous about school. and about writing this blog because my girlfriend keeps looking over to my screen. she's so cute. she loves her cookies.

but i haven't finished a semester at community college in several years. i went to an accelerated program kind of a school and got through it because of the structure of it. but this year i'm going back to collin county to get some basics and figure out what i'm interested in, so i can pursue it. every time i've asked myself what i want to do with my life, what i want to do when i grow up - nothingness would bear down as a heavy shadow to that question and i would come up with a practical response to suit my surroundings. i don't want to be boxed into a job and in a few years think "what have i done with my life?" so i'm going to take my basics and see what i find interesting.

i have to do well because my baby is backing me on this and i don't want to let her down. but i think i've grown up some since the time i would skip classes, and i'm going to see this through.

generic foreword

i am very bad at consistency. i don't know if it can all be surmised to laziness, disinterest, or a fear of succeeding; but i've always seemed to be incapable of doing something that requires more than the usual of me consistently for more than a handful of times x a few times a month/year (depending on what it is). so this may very well be my first and last entry. but my purpose with this blog is to have a place to record my life and my understanding of myself and surroundings for several reasons. i'm at a place in my life i have never been at before. i would like to have a confessional that holds me accountable because it is accessible to whomever should come across it. i am interested in bettering myself in a way that involves self-reflection be it on the past, or the past posts i will write. to the future jill reading this, i hope you are who you want to be right now when you read this.