so many distractions

I find my English 1301 class seems to be the least enjoyable to keep up with. I am learning interesting things, but its just super difficult to motivate myself to want to do it. Maybe I just capped out at two classes. I mean, BCIS is pretty ridiculously occupying of my time, but I find that I am really benefiting at work from what I'm learning in that class. Music 1306 is definitely worth it. I just think I took too many classes this semester. But I'm not going to bail. I'm just going to get through it this semester.

Donna is shelving books next to me. She is dressed like a supercute swashbuckling pirate.

So now I have to - for serious - go write my English paper.

Snow Day

So far, I've had three days off this week due to the inclement weather. Inclement? According to Mr. Merriam Webster that word means lacking mildness, or physically severe; however it sounds like such an impotent word to describe the winter wonderland Dallas is experiencing.
I realized today while I was driving up the ramp covered in a sheet of ice with tire grooves from previous explorers, that I don't have the same relationship with snow that I once did as a child. Snow definitely gets me excitable. I remember last Friday I was high-fiving my coworker, and getting animated as I do at the thought of these days. Thank you snow and ice for not letting me down. But I have absolutely no desire to go frolic in it as I once did. I spent 5 minutes scrapping the ice off the windshield and I thought I had given my numbsicle fingers frost bite. I think the best part of this past week has been getting to spend it indoors in the comfort of our cozy little living room that we've turned into a makeshift loft with our bed in front of the tv, wrapped up in blankets next to my baby. Pictures will be posted to give an idea of the little fort we've made. I realize throughout the moments I spend with Donna, that I'm at a place in my life I've never experienced before. I'm at a comfort level that I've never known within myself, let alone with anyone else. It's splendid. It's so many things, it makes me able to breath easier, and feel so relaxed and I feel like I'm not lacking so much within myself. I like who I am. Sure, there are plenty of things from the top of my head to the tip of my toe to work on. But for the first time in my life I feel like I am going in a direction that I am completely sure of, and even though I can't predict the weather, I'm going to make the best of it.

golden globes

i'm watching the golden globes with my girlfriend. its something i usually would do with my mom and sister growing up, but now i'm subjecting her to it. she doesn't seem to mind when there's a musical award.
i can't believe christopher nolan lost best screenplay to aaron sorkin.

i'm nervous about school. and about writing this blog because my girlfriend keeps looking over to my screen. she's so cute. she loves her cookies.

but i haven't finished a semester at community college in several years. i went to an accelerated program kind of a school and got through it because of the structure of it. but this year i'm going back to collin county to get some basics and figure out what i'm interested in, so i can pursue it. every time i've asked myself what i want to do with my life, what i want to do when i grow up - nothingness would bear down as a heavy shadow to that question and i would come up with a practical response to suit my surroundings. i don't want to be boxed into a job and in a few years think "what have i done with my life?" so i'm going to take my basics and see what i find interesting.

i have to do well because my baby is backing me on this and i don't want to let her down. but i think i've grown up some since the time i would skip classes, and i'm going to see this through.

generic foreword

i am very bad at consistency. i don't know if it can all be surmised to laziness, disinterest, or a fear of succeeding; but i've always seemed to be incapable of doing something that requires more than the usual of me consistently for more than a handful of times x a few times a month/year (depending on what it is). so this may very well be my first and last entry. but my purpose with this blog is to have a place to record my life and my understanding of myself and surroundings for several reasons. i'm at a place in my life i have never been at before. i would like to have a confessional that holds me accountable because it is accessible to whomever should come across it. i am interested in bettering myself in a way that involves self-reflection be it on the past, or the past posts i will write. to the future jill reading this, i hope you are who you want to be right now when you read this.